Continuing to Have Faith and Saying "No" Out of Necessity

I know a lot of young families have money struggles.

Although I think it's possible to avoid if you have the proper guidance and plan carefully; I also think it's an important season of life to experience.

Tommy & I back in 2010

When Tommy and I were first married, we were broke. 

Seriously, we had a total of 4 forks in our kitchen which we had bought from the Dollar Store when we ran out of the disposable set my mom had given us - that's all we could afford to buy. Those first 12-15 months of marriage were the absolute hardest financially. Our number one goal was just to pay every bill and stay out of debt. And we did. We weren't even close to perfect with our money (and we still aren't) but we made sacrifices and God provided for us. 

After a year and a half we finally felt like we not only had our feet on the ground, but we had decent traction and could start to "live a little". So we began to build our savings to buy a home.

Our front entryway

Two and a half months ago, our dream finally came true.

We bought our first house, with no other debt whatsoever and our emergency fund still in the bank! Our hard work and sacrifice had paid off. We finally felt like everything was coming together. We had a home (our fourth in 2.5 years) to settle our family in, begin to fulfill our homesteading dreams on, and it was perfect.

Two days after we closed on our house, Tommy lost his job.

Although we've been blessed that multiple times in the past few years, Tommy could leave his job for a better opportunity God provided us, this is the first time ever that we had lost one.

As much as I try to be optimistic and have patience, the truth is I'm human. We've been okay the past two months, we have our savings. But lately I'm impatient, frustrated, and annoyed.

I know it could be a hundred times worse than it is. But it's really hard to feel like everything we've been dreaming about doing and waiting to accomplish is on hold. Again.

It's really hard to feel guilty about spending money on anything that's not a need. 

I can't justify spending $6 on new batting so I can start another sewing project. It's not a need.

I can't justify buying more FCLO, even though it was 40% off and I believe it's the reason I haven't even had a cold yet this winter, It's not a need.

I can't even justify getting Will's 1st birthday pictures taken... not even at Walmart or JCPenney. It's not a need.

I can't justify spending unnecessarily because I don't know how long it will be before we have income. 

Normally, I'm all about being frugal and not spending large amounts of money - but it's different when you are watching this huge (to us) amount of savings you worked so hard to build just melt away. And it's different than when we used our down payment savings - now we're not even able to do enjoyable things or have something tangible to show for it; we're just trying to stay warm and eat.

Even though saying "No" has been a struggle, I am so thankful for what the Lord has opened our eyes to during this situation.

• We learned that a career field we thought Tommy was passionate about pursuing is not where he should be and not where God wants him
• We learned how to be a one car family and we kind of enjoy it actually
• We learned how to make Christmas simple and special without money - and why it's important
• We've learned that the upgrades we had planned on making to our home, aren't as important as other ones we could spend money on when we have it (um, hello new windows. I'm freezing here!)
• We've learned the weaknesses in our marriage from being together 24/7 for 2.5 months straight and can address them
• We've learned that Satan will use your moments of weakness and desperation to try and pull you away from God and the faith in His plan
• We've learned that Tommy is a hundred times better at getting the laundry done than I am. Honestly, when he is working again I am worried nothing will ever be clean - I am the worst!

Right now, we can only pray for a new job (in Michigan none-the-less) and continue to take care of our needs.

I don't know what God's plan is. I don't know how long it will take. But I whole heartedly trust He has a reason and if we continue to trust in Him, He will take care of His children.

Thank you following along on our journey to simplicity & contentment. Please be sure to learn about our family, like our page on Facebook, and visit the right column to subscribe to future posts!

Linking up with the Barn Hop!

I'm not buying a single gift this Christmas

Christmas gifts.

I have the unique situation that I share my birthday with Christmas Day. So of course I've always expected gifts (and my parents were very good to make sure I receive them for both occasions).

But over the past few years I've felt really challenged in this area. Even though receiving gifts isn't one of my love languages, I still feel the natural pull to give seriously awesome gifts to everyone at Christmas time.

Which makes striving for simplicity and contentment during this season a challenge.
I'm thankful God is making a huge change in my heart for the desire to consume, consume, consume "just because" it's the holidays. 

But how can I fulfill this desire to give and bring joy to others through presents... If I want them to be filled with contentment and appreciation for God's love too?

And how can I personally celebrate the holiday simply if everyone is expecting a fancy gift? And how can I express my contentment so that people don't feel the need to give me more?

This has been the conversation in my head for months leading up to the holidays.

And a big part of that conversation was me asking myself, "Why do we give presents at all? Well, Jesus was God's present to us. And the three kings brought him presents. So should I give everyone gold and essential oils? Do I buy them a Bible? Do I buy them nothing?"

The Compromise

Most would agree that America has succeeded in building up this traditional, historical holiday and making it less about Christ's birth and more about having the biggest decorations, the biggest gifts, and the biggest party to celebrate it all.

Let me preface by saying I love the Christmas season. I love the decor, the parties, the celebrations, the music. (Umm, I decorated my house before Thanksgiving)

What I don't love is the sense of entitlement, greed, and discontentment that I have seen in my own heart.

That's not the mindset I hope to pass on to my children. I want them to cherish this holiday as the celebration of Christ's birth, family, and giving out of love, not to receive. 

Contentment. No big presents? Perhaps no presents at all?
Simplicity. No big decorations? No big parties?

This does not sound fun at all.

How can I continue to change my heart to celebrate Christmas to honor the birth of our Savior without being completely radical and making our friends and family think we are crazy ungrateful cheapos...?

I have to give gifts. 
Well, I want to give gifts.

I want to share what we've been blessed with with our family and friends.. but, I don't want to give to impress. I want to give to challenge people. 

Challenge them to think about what they are truly celebrating - God's holiday? Or the world's holiday?
I want to challenge them about what they're expectations are and what ways they are searching for fulfillment, because in the end, they aren't going to get true fulfillment in any Christmas gift.


So now I've found the message I want from my gifts and my reasons for giving them. I'm not giving gifts just because "it's what you do" and because "I want gifts back". I hope my gifts will be received with a special message.


And to try and create that message, 
We decided to make all of our gifts this year. 

Not just a one or two. Not a handful. Every. Single. One.
And you know what I love the most about making homemade gifts?

1. No Money

Money is tighter right now, I'm being honest. We just bought our first house and are still adjusting to the unexpected/additional expenses that come with maintaining a home. (Almost) every material we are using to make our gifts we already own (or have been able to find for free from family members and Craig's List).

We are spending less than $100 total (but I think closer to $50... and a lot of that is on stamps!) for over a dozen gifts (and 50 mini-gifts).

We know making our own gifts won't make them less adequate for the person receiving them, but they will allow us to keep a larger "cushion" in our bank account if, say, we end up needing (another) unexpected $850 repair...

2. No TV Time

When we moved into our new house, we chose to not have cable anymore. This literally gives us hours every day that we used to waste watching random sitcoms and HGTV reruns. Having projects to work on has given us something to do in our "down time" (and it forces me to spend time doing something I enjoy... which is easy for us moms to skip!)

3. Teachable Moments

Spending time cutting, pinning, painting, designing, and sewing gives me plenty of opportunities to talk to my toddler about gift giving - and have her help! Even if it's just scribbling on envelopes or stuffing fabric scraps into a bag.

Is making homemade gifts 100x times more work than buying them? Absolutely.
Are there meaningful store-bought gifts out there? Absolutely.

But instead of dreading to fight the crowds and have my recipients 
potentially use their gift receipt, I'm preserving materials, saving money, and making something unique.

It's simple. And it makes me feel content. And thankful for the opportunity to bless others.

Do you have any unique traditions for gift giving?

Linking up with Frugal Days, Works for Me, Barn Hop, Raising Homemakers, Penny Pinching Party! 

Thank you following along on our journey to simplicity & contentment. Please be sure to learn about our family, like our page on Facebook, and visit the right column to subscribe to future posts!

Day 27 . Why do we want to buy stuff?

Yesterday I talked about how I am now intentionally striving for contentment in our pursuit for a simpler life.

I pride myself on being the "master" of window-shopping -- both online and in person. I can add 40 books and gadgets to my Amazon cart, walk around Target for an hour, and fill an entire cart at the dollar store, but then not spend a dime. 

But lately I'm wondering if this is really contentment. Maybe contentment is not just resisting temptation on the outside. I also need to eliminate the dissatisfaction on the inside to truly to be content. 

Source

So, why do we want to buy stuff?

It's normal at this time of year, as we approach the holidays, for Americans to get into consumer mode. Add that to the fact that we are about to close on our first house and we have about a billion things we could, should, or want buy and even more reasons to justify it.

But really, why do we want to buy stuff? 

Why am I obsessing over picking out the perfect new curtains? Why am I searching Craig's List and every thrift store with 15 miles for a new dining room table? Why do I stop at every single estate sale I drive past to see if they have any more mason jars to add to my already unnecessary large collection?

1. Shopping is FUN

For some people shopping is fun and a social, casual event, but for me, shopping is a game. I want a high quality, unique item, for the best deal.

I love the hunt. I love walking through a store with my coffee in hand and getting the most I can for the least amount possible. 12 new baby shirts for $8? Sign me up!

Source

2. Everyone does it

Seriously, do you know anyone who never steps their foot in a store nowadays? It's normal to consume. 

3. The Big One - Advertising

This is the one I now realize I've unintentionally become immune to. Advertising is everywhere. Having the TV on in the background, listening to the radio, on every blog you read, website you visit. 

Even advertisements to consume for an idea are everywhere. I wonder what the statistic is for how much extra you spend for each hour you spend on Pinterest. 

Source

Shoot. No wonder my heart isn't content. 

How do you change the spending habit? Or even more, the dissatisfaction?

1. Think: What are you surrounding yourself with? 

Do you walk through Target 3 times a week or drive past the car dealership everyday?

Consider removing yourself from these situations which cause you to unnecessarily desire more stuff that you don't need. We are humans - put a chocolate cake in front of me, I'll eat it. If you're on a diet, don't hang out with cake or talk to cake and you'll increase your chances of never thinking about cake.

2. Count Your Blessings. 

I'd like to get into the habit that whenever I feel the urge to peruse Target or flip through Pinterest, I sit down and write a list of things I'm thankful for instead. 

I'm thankful we don't have any debt.

I'm thankful my toddler can entertain herself for 2 hours with a 50 cent piece of playdough

I'm thankful my feet are warm.

I'm thankful for coffee.

I'm thankful my husband has the flexibility to stop home for lunch everyday.

I'm thankful for fresh air.

There are so many things I can be thankful for. But how often do I take the time to reflect on them? (Answer: Not often enough).

3. Watch the video The Story of Stuff 

And learn about who is really paying for what we consume everyday.

Linking up with the Barn Hop!

What about you? Do you struggle with delaying gratification? How do you keep your heart content for what God has provided?

This is Day 27 of 31. Click here to see the entire series.

Thank you following along on our journey to simplicity & contentment. Please be sure to learn about our family, like our page on Facebook, and visit the right column to subscribe to our posts :)

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Philippians 4:12

God bless!